Fear of Failure

Within a few hours I will leave for what will likely be, physically, mentally and emotionally, the most difficult 4.5 to 5 days of my life. The outcome is certainly in doubt.

I was recently asked a question that I had never been asked before. It went something like this: "Are you not afraid that you will fail and not be able to achieve the goal you set yourself?" The answer is: “I am terrified". In 2001 I had an experience, that put my "fear of failure" into a new understanding for me. I was only 5 days into an 18 day fund-raising ride from Inuvik, the furthest point north in Canada to Point Pelee, the furthest point south, when a number of factors contributed to me abandoning my ride. I was devastated and answering media questions was one of the hardest things I have ever done. The drive home in the Leisure van from Fort Nelson in northern BC to Winnipeg was very long, and the anticipation of meeting friends and family was gut-wrenching. I had failed to do what I had set out to do. My understanding of "failure" however, changed when I listened to a message on our answering machine that evening. It was from an acquaintance who had followed our journey. I had to listen to the message three times, before I could understand what he was saying, because his voice was quivering and unclear with all the emotion. I will paraphrase the message he left me. "Arvid, thank you for the example you set in showing me how to cope with disappointment. It meant a lot more to me than if you would have accomplished your goal.” It took me a while to understand, that what I viewed as failure, God used to speak to the circumstances in this individual's life.

When Charles Mulli (read his bio Father to the Fatherless) responded to the prompting of his heart to sell all his businesses to take street kids into his home, he too, was afraid. He was afraid of what his family, his friends would say. He was afraid of being ineffective and becoming the laughing-stock in the community. He was afraid to risk everything he had for the sake of those he did not even know.

Just imagine what would have happened to thousands of kids, if he had given in to the fear of failure?

I sometimes wonder what opportunities to make a difference we have missed, because we are too afraid to step outside of our safe comfort zone. It is not about what we can do, but rather what God can do through us. Does our fear of failure prevent us from allowing that to happen?

As I set out for BC today, I am assured by the knowledge that my best effort is all God ever requires of me. See you on the road sometime.

Arvid